The perils of drink

 I woke up yesterday full of the joys of summer with no more on my mind than to contemplate whether it is better to be at work and feel energetic or to be retired and feel all the aches and pains.
It is very difficult to answer that as both situations have many for and against ticks. So. get on with the life at hand and forget the advantages and disadvantages and make the most of it
NO, some so and so has to come up with some way of upsetting the status quo.

I switch on the TV to get the update on the world at large to find that someone with the idea that persons over the age of sixty five should limit their drinking to an amount which, all added together would be difficult to drown a fly in.
It is suppose to addle your sixty five year old  plus mind and turn you into an invisible alcoholic whatever that  is.

But then I got to thinking. Yesterday I had a pint of beer and two large glasses of wine. Almost half the weekly allowance done already. Perhaps I should heed the warning.

As you know, I try to lead a healthy life  by taking things very easily, taking exercise and eating well..

I do not have a fixed getting up time and I am content to while away the time up to ten thirty watching the woes of the poor 'X-Factor' people on Jeremy Kyle having their few minutes of stardom and making me seem like a thoroughly stable person.

So then the time comes for some serious physical exercise....putting on my socks. I will not  detail the moves of this extremely energetic and breathtaking contortion as most of you are fully aware of the intensive labour required by each muscle in the body. throughout this very long exercise.
Then, fully relaxed and hyped up on two cups of coffee I might decided to vacuum the floors which I do not hurry as by the time I have finished the flat a week has passed and it is time to do it again.
If I feel really energetic then there is always the washing up or the cleaning of windows to keep me supple.
I try to restrain from eating red meat more than twice a day and adopt a healthy pattern of not eating too much pasta or other foreign muck.

So perhaps I should take heed of the warning about drink.

Buoyed up by my decision, off I go to the Pub for the normal Wednesday Meeting and on approaching the Bar I ask the normally very friendly very pretty bar staff for a glass of lime and soda. The look I received was as if I was an alien asking for the bus station to get transport to Roswell. The first lady asked to be excused and went and got the other one who, with total disdain, asked me what I would like to drink. I repeated my request and she turned away and went out of the Bar obviously trying to find a dirty glass with chips on the rim. Coming back in with a glass full of a yellowy greeney fluid which I assumed must be lime and soda. The price £12.45. Handing over a twenty pound note she went to the till and threw the change at me.

Now this is unusual treatment and I am sure had nothing to do with the fact that I normally drink bitter and wine. They must have been under a lot of pressure from elsewhere.

Our really delightful Landlord turned up to wish everyone well and to buy us a drink as is his wont. He came to me and I again asked for a lime and soda. I thought he was going to throw a fit. He went red in the face, spluttered and shouted at me saying that if I insisted in drinking that stuff then I should go elsewhere and multiply.
Eventually he calmed down and said that I could drink it there if I had it in a pewter mug or similar opaque material and sat well away from the bar in case what was affecting me was catching.
The alternative was to go to the Pub next door with all those other strange people.

I have never been so lonely!!!!!!!!!!!. But at least I will not suffer from scurvy.

To hell with this latest edict from the medical world, I am going back to my old drinking habits because it's effect cannot be as bad as being sent to Coventry by my friends.

I am now back in the Pub with my drinking habit restored and it is not affecting my mind at all.

I will keep you informed as to my health just to prove that the drink is not affecting my mind.

Bye for now
Fred no sorry soda

Oh I will get my name right for the next time.